The good girl is going extinct. Many valid explanations are thrown about: upbringing, society, TV, music, peer pressure, etc. But one important cause of her death is the men she encounters who take her and destroy her, so let’s take a look at those responsible for her tarnishment.
Some men are strong and powerful, some men are smart and rich, but some men are love engineers experts at finding the code to unlock girls stiffly shut legs. There is nothing inherently wrong with these men, but just like there’s honor among thieves, there should be honor among heart robbers: virgins and good girls shouldn’t be messed with.
Nowadays however, seducers are ruthless, and if the exploration of the far west was a time of free killing and gun slinging, the new millennium is an age of rampaging hymen perforation and innocence spoilage. His mix of boldness, good looks and suavity gives second thoughts even to the most traveled and seasoned woman. When a good girl meets him, everything feels magically perfect, as he appears to be above the mundane rest of the human race. He is all she ever dreamed of from the time she was a little child reading romance novels; when he takes her hand to tell her she is the love of his life, butterflies fill her stomach, excitement invades her face and moist forms inside her thighs.
Easily the number one predator of good girls, with his harmless looking face and his heart of wolf, the womanizer likes to disarm his prey with and strike effectively when her guard is lowered. When he gets what he wants, he dumps her in the wild, leaving her with her lacerated heart bleeding in the open, sometimes with an unwanted child or an incurable STD. At this point in her life, the good girl wished she had someone who’s done it all and seen it all, someone who could have seen his game and protected her from certain doom.
The “nice” guy
The “nice” guy is the one who covers up his incompetence and lack of courage by being overly gentle and accommodating. He’s not really nice: like every single male on the planet, he wants sex with you, but he takes backdoors and windows to enter your fortress. While he rarely manages to get his lowly stick inside you, don’t underestimate his negative influence: his damage is in the day-to-day erosion and annoyance, like an unreachable slimy leech stuck in the middle of your back that sucks your energy little by little.
Too afraid to ask you out, he will pass himself as a sexless friend hoping you will one day see how great he is, sometimes hiding behind the virtue of romance, sometimes behind a fervent faith in God. At first, things will be perfect with him, as he will call you every day, listen to your boring stories, gives you lifts and even buy you gifts without ever asking you out. Later, he will randomly have anger outfits because he is growing intense hatred for the one he loves but cannot get. All the nice gestures he did will be quickly erased and outdone by the drama and insults he will throw at you.
The “nice guy” makes women suspicious of men in general and further increases their hatred for the male species. Since good girls are friendly and welcoming by nature, they should have someone who is stronger and intimidating by their side to scare away these annoyances.
The wrong guy
He’s not a bad guy. On paper, he’s the kind your mom would want you to date: he’s smart, he wants to go to college and he’s alright all around. He’s the high school sweet heart you typically meet early in your life, at a time when your identity is not completely formed yet. You have common interests and he’s funny, so what could go wrong?
Alas, time goes by and you start to change. He remains the exact same guy he was when you first met him, but strangely, your love and passion for him progressively turn solely into camaraderie.
He’s not strong enough for you, not alive enough for you, not passionate enough for you. It’s not his fault and it would be unfair to blame him: that’s just how he is and he will never change. You’re vibrant, smart and pretty; other guys can’t leave you alone, offering you a better prospect as they are more interesting, more ambitious and ballsy. Your lover starts to get insecure and jealous, causing friction between you and him, your unconvincing and unconvinced words of appeasement not having any effect on the obvious end that is coming.
You’re a good girl. You made a promise, you’re honest and you don’t cheat. All your friends are in common, your mom knows his mom, you’re strongly tied together and you’re that cute perfect couple everybody looks up to as an example. One day, your endless arguments lead you to break up and go separate ways. All this time you spent with a guy who was not a match for you could have been spent with the right guy instead, getting married and having children. That seemingly innocuous adventure cost you over ten of the most important years of your life, throwing you now on a dating market that feels like an incomprehensible, unsolvable maze.
Good girls need direction
The good girl is a rare, special breed of woman who needs the protection and direction of older, more experienced adults to make sure she doesn’t waste her time with the wrong kind of men. Someone with a keen eye and vastly greater life experience can see through the game, character and value of these 3 types of men to effectively protect her and preserve her gentleness, generosity and good heart.
1. Wear a rubber band or a hair tie around your wrist for one day. Every time you have a negative thought about your body, snap the band. Over the course of the day this will help you realize how often you put yourself down. Maybe you haven’t been as good to your body as you could have been, sure, but does it help to remind yourself of this hundreds of times per day?
2. Stop weighing yourself every day. Stop it. Do it weekly if you want to keep track but doing it every day will only make you crazy.
3. Make a list of things you love about your body. Display it on the inside of your closet so you remember those things regularly.
4. Do physical activities you enjoy for the simple reason that you enjoy doing them. Focus on how strong your body must be to be able to complete them. Appreciate it for doing what you need it to do.
5. Get a massage. If you can’t afford one, get a cheapie haircut — anything where someone else will touch you and make you feel good. The power of human touch on our bodies is greatly underrated.
6. Remember this great Salma Hayek quote, “People often say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing you are the beholder.” If that doesn’t strike a chord with you, read through these and find one that does.
7. Stop counting calories and start eating more vegetables.
8. Instead of talking negatively to yourself, think about what you would say to your best friend if she told you she was feeling the way you were. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to another loved one. Give yourself the advice you would give them.
9. Make a list of what you admire about the people in your life that have been really important to you. How many of those things were physical characteristics? Remember that.
10. Realize that everything you do, even if it’s not the best, is in attempt to care for yourself. You don’t always do the best, but you do the best you can. If you use eating or not eating as a way to comfort yourself or escape — try to think specifically about what you are combatting and then list other ways you could achieve the same outcome.
11. Go for a long walk outside and enjoy nature. Don’t bring your phone (or just don’t look at it). Enjoy having the time to yourself and having a body that can take you on a long walk, even if you walk slowly at times.
13. Listen to music that makes you feel confident and happy:
14. On your social media, unfollow, mute, or hide any voices that make you feel bad about yourself, even if that person’s intentions are good. Don’t be afraid to be selfish and do what’s best for you and your mental health.
15. When you look in the mirror, force yourself to compliment yourself (out loud if you can). Just find one thing you genuinely like about the way you look at that moment.
16. Make a list of things you are thankful your body CAN do.
17. Try to do something physically challenging like a 5k and track your progress. Watching your body grow stronger and becoming more capable is a great way to increase confidence. Plus, this makes it about what your body can do, not what it looks like.
18. When people give you compliments (about anything) write them down in a notebook. When you are having a bad body-confidence day flip through it and remember all the things people admire about you.
19. Yoga is a great way to meditate and relax at some time during the day, and it can really help you love the way your body works. It’s intimidating to start, but this short home workout is super approachable. Try it a few times and see how you feel:
21. Instead of focusing on what you need to take out of your life (extra calories, imperfect body areas) make a list of a few things you’re going to add in this week: extra servings of veggies, making sure you eat breakfast, getting enough sleep, doing something each day that makes you laugh, doing something each day that relaxes you, etc. Take note of how you feel after a few days or weeks of trying this.
22. Stop judging other people for their bodies. When we are super harsh and judgmental with others, we can’t help but be the same way with ourselves. Focusing on loving people and having empathy for them. It will rub off on the way you view yourself.
23. Try radically choosing to love yourself. Refuse to entertain unhappy thoughts about your body. Vocalize the positive ones. Affirm yourself. Remember you can always go back to hating yourself if it doesn’t work out.
It’s pathetic. You don’t have to tell me. I deleted you from my phone the other day when I realized you didn’t want me. But I regretted it immediately. I wanted to maul over the texts you sent. I want to pine over you. But I memorized your number anyway. You know, just in case you change your mind. I don’t want to forget you.
Why did you make me believe I was beautiful? Why did your touch feel honest and extraordinary? It felt like you saved me from drowning. It felt like heaven and earth moved when you were close to me – the way you pulled my hair away, and grabbed my face; your fingers slowly caressing my legs. Why did you even do that? Why did you give me false hope?
I didn’t even want to kiss you that first time. You grabbed my face like you owned it; like you owned me. I was on the verge of tears when it happened. Sitting here, thinking about it, I told myself it’s because I was half-sober and I’m not used to that. But I know it’s because my heart had become so cold, my body had become so used to being alone that your touch felt alien. And then it didn’t. I held on and I kissed you. I liked it. I liked you.
And I told you things. And I fell too quickly. Like a child, I didn’t look before I leapt. I believed that you meant what you said – I believed you. And I wanted to believe that there could be an us. That somehow, someway there would be us somewhere in the future I could not see.
But you forgot me. You forgot that I can make you smile, and laugh, and think; that I can make you feel alive. Yet I would still give you a chance if you asked. I would still want to know you, if that’s what you wanted. I would still let you in. Because it’s you.
Because I’ve been told that when you feel for someone, when you really feel, you have to forget everything and just be with the person. I guess I don’t care if you deserve me, and I don’t even know what the means anymore. I guess I just want to be loved like everyone else. I guess I just wanted to be loved by you, eventually, possibly, hopelessly.
It’s a well-known fact that men often destroy good girls, but along with the rise of the effeminization of men came a new phenomenon: the good guys getting eaten up by bad girls. It’s not to be underestimated, because let’s not forget that a man with a broken heart and a broken bank account can consequently reproduce what’s been done to him to others. Let’s take a look at the usual profile of those bad girls.
She’s not confident with men
Typically, the bad girl is stronger than her mate. She has ambitions to get a high paying job, she wants to study a lot and she works hard. While she has the qualities that make her perform better than most women, she lacks the personality, kindness and softness that would make her a good lover. She leans on the sociopath and misanthropic side, unable to genuinely like people and enjoy their presence. She might have good looks, she might have not, but when it comes to men, she always has a well hidden low self-esteem.
Therefore, instead of looking for a man who would impress her and dominate her, she settles for one she can control instead, a weaker one who poses no threat to her. She doesn’t love him and she doesn’t respect him: deep down, she despises him, because she let him have her even though she thinks he doesn’t deserve her. However, she can enjoy the emotional and financial security he provides her as well as having the excitement of hot cocks on the side, the hot cocks she desires but is unable to secure.
She loves hot cocks
While her sweetheart will be busy telling his coworkers what an amazing girlfriend she is, she will be on FaceBook inviting studs to her apartment so they can effortlessly enter her, a feat that her sweetie pie can’t do without the help of a lot of lube and patience.
She’s the girl you dance with at 2 am, grabbing and spreading her ass cheeks apart while forcing your tongue inside her mouth, discovering she’s engaged only after you brought her home and have released yourself inside her, praying strongly she’s on the pill. She’s the kind of girl you meet on the streets after work, dressed in a clean business skirt with her suit case, who, upon noticing you right behind her, enjoys climbing the stairs slowly and sinuously so you can have your nose a quarter inch away from her delicious lady lump. She then proceeds to jump in the arms of her loving boyfriend who was eagerly waiting for her at the top.
She’s the type of girl you have affairs with who asks you if it’s ok to cheat on her husband, somehow trying to put the fault on you instead. She will sometimes call him right in front of you while you’re lying in bed with her, between round 2 and 3, trying to reassure him she’s just out with friends, hoping to attenuate her guilt before you resume doing the nasty stuff every man loves to do. It’s the same kind of stuff she won’t allow her cutie posh cake to enjoy with her, because “she’s not that kind of girl”, you know.
She has profound hatred her boyfriend
If her lover was a giant cockroach, she would enjoy smashing it with a sledge hammer to spread all its internal juices over the kitchen walls, send it to the hospital to have it stitched up, then proceed to start all over again with great excitement. In fact, whenever you let her breathe, she will seize the opportunity to talk about how stupid he is, what a loser he is, what a coward he is, while loving to patronizingly describe how sweet he is for buying her all those presents.
If the good guy is tool enough to get married to a bad girl, blissfully ignoring all the dire signs an otherwise experienced eye could detect, he will get his soul, heart and resources ransacked to possible unrepairable extents. She will divorce him 10 years later, get half his money + alimony to “keep her previous lifestyle”, which concretely means taking away his kids and his house to live inside it with her hot cock— she finally found a way to make him stick around for a while, by buying him everything he wants with her husband’s money.
Good guys: you need to toughen up
If you can be such fools, it’s because you’ve led a sheltered life, following the rules without questioning society’s deceptive teachings. It’s bad for men to be safe and protected, for security and comfort lead to mediocrity. Adventure, risk, exploration and discoveries should define your life. However, should you decide to remain innocent and sweet, something positive could come out of it; after all, you’re sacrificing yourself to bring joy to others. Your wife will be providing sexual releases to bolder, stronger, more capable men, sometimes getting impregnated with their seeds to secretly have you provide for their kids. These men will be silently yet honestly forever thankful for your great generosity.
Congratulations, you’re likely an adult and now you can’t walk away from friendships like summer camp just ended, you have to resolve conflict with your words, presence, and wisdom. Don’t have any of that? That’s fine, I have tons.
1. Go to sleep.
When shit goes down, like you covered for your roommate’s rent and they just uploaded a picture of themselves making it rain in Vegas, you have to calmly put your phone down and take deep breaths.
Emotionally-charged texting is the worst thing you could do right now. Have you been to YouTube and seen what happens when you don’t have to say words? And your friend’s in Vegas so they won’t get it till tomorrow morning, which is when you’ll wake up cooled off, refreshed, and with hours of REM sleep focused on the best response to this issue.
2. Don’t let it fester.
In a situation where you’re both butt-hurt and neither of you believes they’re truly in the wrong, waiting more than a few days to address a conflict only reduces the possibility for reconciliation. Because then you’re reaffirming your grievance, “I cannot believe they spent my rent money in Vegas, good riddance…they’re still paying me back, too.”
And so is your friend, “How dare they tell me what to do, just because I can’t pay rent one month means I shouldn’t have fun?” This logic will actually seem correct after a while, so even if you don’t think you should, make the first move towards resolution.
3. Establish if it’s worth it.
If this is one of your best friends of — I hate to put a number on it — 5 years or more, you have to consider how this ‘falling out’ reflects on your own character. Try this; imagine you run into Jessica from high school who you haven’t seen in years, and she’s like, “Oh wait, how’s your friend Taylor are you two still inseparable?”
And you say, “We actually kinda had a falling-out when they __________.”
If your conclusion to that response sounds like something you’d be embarrassed to say in the future due to its futility, then you need to reconcile, or else you’ll get laughed at by Jessica. She sucks.
4. Meet in person.
I recommend you meet in an open area, keep your hands in your pockets, and silence your cellphones because a pulsing vibration just makes the apology anticlimactic.
Take turns saying something that looks like this: “When you did ______, I think it made me feel _______ because _______.” Listen and adopt their point of view, and when you respond, get it all off your chest. Don’t stash any blackmail for future passive aggression, that’s a cheap move.
5. Laugh it off.
If you’ve both successfully suspended your prides, said everything you needed to say, and agreed that your friendship was worth more than one trip to Vegas, you’re now allowed to laugh at it. Not immediately, give it a couple weeks to get funny, but the laughter comes from a sense of relief that you’re still friends, and relief that you’re capable of forgiveness.