Funny Christmas quote and saying 2014
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.... :'(
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hahaha
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Sorry for my bad edit :(
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1. If I’m at dinner, my number one thing will be to look at how she treats our server. As a server myself, I have no respect for a girl who thinks she’s above the wait staff. – Drew, 24

2. If the girl is late because she’s taking so long to get ready, I’m already less interested. Get ready earlier. I know you’re trying to play a dating game already and it’s just a huge turn-off. – Jake, 29

3. How many selfies she posts, and how much duck face is involved in them. Self-love is great, but it tends to be the case that girls who post a lot of photos of themselves are seeking some kind of validation that I don’t want to end up being responsible for giving. – Caleb, 24.

4. I know she doesn’t really want that salad and she’s ordering it because she thinks she should. I would rather she just be herself and get what she likes. – Greg, 25

5. How much she looks at her phone. Obviously everyone’s gonna text, but if she’s on it the whole time when we’re first starting to hang out, it’s just such a huge turnoff. – Seth, 25

6. I don’t know where society got the idea that men don’t care that much about personality. All the men I know do. Strong, funny, interesting,smart women are where it’s at. Nothing more disappointing than a dull person, woman or man, honestly. – Clark, 30

7. If a woman says she likes a sports team I like just to agree with me, I’m out. We don’t need to like the same things. Just be honest. – Luke, 23

8. If she says something like, “Well, you’re a guy so you will do [really cliche thing]” I feel like I can’t be myself. I don’t think she has to do anything specific because she’s a woman, so why do I have to speak for my entire gender? – Kenneth, 28

9. One time I got drinks with a girl and she was like approving my tastes as if they were acceptable. I got this glimpse of the future, and it was just her molding me into everything she wanted. I threw up in my mouth. – Chris, 26

10. Personal thing, but food is by far my favorite part of dating – going to cool restaurants, being adventurous food-wise (food is sex). So if she’s vegan, vegetarian, on the anti-gluten team, we’re just not gonna be compatible. – Dave, 28

11. If a woman wears shoes she can’t even walk in from the parking lot to the movie theatre, I’m disinterested quickly. I get that women think we like high heels and maybe I’m the weird one here, but I’d rather my date wear something comfortable. – Clancy, 26

12. No sense of humor! I’m interested in a relationship. If we can’t laugh right from the beginning, we are never going to work. – Peter, 24

13. Girls who are funny are an immediate turn-on. Sometimes they’re exhausting and tough to keep up with, but such a turn-on. – James, 25

14. If I’m on a first date with a woman and she has no strong opinions and seems to care about NOTHING, I just die inside a little. WTH are we supposed to talk about for the rest of this date, never mind during a long-term relationship? Gross. – Jesse, 27

15. How much her ‘put together’ appearance differs from what she actually looks like. I’m totally about self expression and looking the way you want and being who you want, but I’m not wild about having dinner looking at once face and then going home to a completely different one. – Jon, 28.

16. Whenever I’m looking to get serious with a girl (so like twice), I like to go do something like karaoke. Karaoke is adventurous, and you put yourself out there in a way that’s really rare and bonds you with this look that I can’t explain, but is just so powerful. It’s great. – Marcus, 26

17. How she feels about Doritos. I hate Doritos, and cannot be around Doritos for prolonged periods of time. – Lance, 24

18. How basic she is. God you’re all going to kill me for this, but honestly, there’s a difference between enjoying the little things in life and acting like a 12-year-old. – Mark, 29

19. What books she has in her room/apartment. Always. – Kyle, 25

20. If she’s not down to go to Taco Bell pretty much at any moment, I am judging her hardcore for that. Who doesn’t like Taco Bell? Monsters, that’s who. – Jamie, 29

21. I have an embarrassing music taste. I don’t exactly flaunt my love for emo bands and boy bands, but they are a huge part of my rotation and can’t date a girl who has no respect for LMNT. – Derek, 23

22. How she puts herself together for the occasion. If we’re going on a coffee date and she’s wearing one of those Forever 21 bandage dresses (yes I know what those are) it’s just… very much a turn-off. (Forever 21 bandage dresses at the club, however, are not.) – Michael, 22

23. I feel like this is sad, but social media stuff. A girl that’s gonna post about me I’m not exactly down with. Seems to be more and more of a thing every day. – Rob, 31

24. Ok I know this is probably controversial, but I judge a girl who doesn’t at least OFFER to pay her half of the bill on a date. – Brandon, 33

25. How many ‘issues’ she has with her ‘friends.’ Girls who have problems with everybody in their lives are usually the problem themselves. – Mark, 29

26. How high her voice goes while she’s talking to you. Girls who drastically shift their tones or speak condescendingly with people are usually pretty fake about more things than they let on. – Jonathan, 30

27. There’s this Seinfeld clip that I can’t find, but George comes back from a date and says that he’s fine paying the bill, but you gotta at least go for the “reach” — like when you’re paying, the girl should at least reach for her wallet. I’ll always pay, but you gotta do the reach. – Jerome, 24

28. What they studied/did in college. I just can’t date a Communications major from a sorority. Not my type. (Y’all are great, but not for me.) – Marcus, 27

28. The first thing she says when you ask her what she likes to do with her spare time. If it’s “uhhhh… I don’t know,” well… she’s not going to “know” about a lot of things going forward, or as you get more serious (or not.) Women who know who they are, what they want, and what they like aren’t just hot… they’re ideal. – Steve, 34

29. I’m big into lifting, and I’d prefer a girl who’s into some sort of fitness; running, lifting, whatever. Not to be that guy, but it’s a way of life, and I want someone who’s into that too. – Russ, 22

30. Whether or not she likes kids. You have to be on the same page with the basics, at least in my book. – Ron, 29

31. What kind of shoes she’s wearing. You can tell a lot about a person by their choice of footwear. – Kevin, 24

32. Pretty simply, what she’s wearing. Not in a “that’s so out of style!” way, just in a, “Oh, this is who you are communicating you are” way. To be honest, most guys kind of evaluate girls by their appearances, and not on whether they’re “hot” or not… it’s about who they seem to be. That’s the first step toward any kind of relationship, girls get too sensitive about it. We aren’t judging how pretty you are, we’re judging whether we should give this thing a shot by who you seem to be saying you are, that’s all we have to work with, at least initially. – Brandon, 28

33. If a woman expects me to do everything and doesn’t take any initiative, it just feels inauthentic. Is that really how she lives her life? Probably not. It feels like she’s trying to be who she thinks I want her to be and that’s really unattractive. – Sam, 31

34. Smokers. Not for me. – Trent, 25

35. If she gets trashed to the point of me having to hold her up as we walk out of the restaurant/bar, yeah… it’s not going to work out. – Mike, 29

36. If she laughs at everything you say, or if she sincerely laughs because she finds something funny. There’s a huge difference, and most guys see it, even if you think you’re fooling us. – Caleb, 34

37. Whether or not she seems sincere. (We can tell.) – Brody, 23

38. How she approaches sex, especially right off the bat. Some girls go out of their way to seem really willing or really unavailable, but then do a 180 a day later. I will respect and comply with what you say you do and do not want, but the flip flopping gets confusing, and makes me uncomfortable. (Does she really want this? Is she just saying she does? I don’t know and I don’t want to be blamed for not being perceptive enough later on.) – Reuben, 31

39. My last girlfriend hated when I grew a beard, but acted like she was ok with it just because she felt like she had to. When we broke up, she admitted she hated it. So I guess just being honest about that sorta stuff. – Jesse, 22

40. If a girl can’t watch silly YouTube videos with me at 2am while snacking on some chips and salsa, then sorry, not the girl for me. – Danny, 22

41. If you’re too flirty… like, really, inappropriately flirty. I just assume you behave this way with everyone. You barely know me and you’re acting like we’re in a relationship, who am I to assume you actually like me as opposed to just being who you are? Who am I to assume you won’t act this way with other guys if and when we’re together? – George, 30

42. Whether or not you can communicate what you want in bed. I don’t want to have to guess, guessing and assuming only gets us in trouble, but you not responding clearly when I ask questions and then seeming like you contradictorily do or don’t want what you just told me to do makes it really hard (pun NOT intended.) – James, 29

43. If she’s talking about her ex, how much she hates her family, or it’s just clear there’s 7,000 different issues, then…she’s the girl for me. What can I say? I love an impossible situation. – Mark, 26

44. If a girl has to take a picture of our food for Instagram before we can dive in, I’m kind of like, “really???????” I get it, your Insta-game is strong, but let’s enjoy the moment. – Zane, 27

45. I’m going to judge a girl if she says she gets bored. Who gets bored? There’s so much to do in life! Boring people get bored. Sorry not sorry. – Trey, 20 TC mark

image – New Girl









Thought Catalog

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1. “Her PERSONALITY..
As cliche as this may be, I find a woman’s personality to be her most attractive quality, Of course I need to be physically attracted to her; find her pretty, be aroused by her body, be able to see her soul in her eyes, but none of that matters if she doesn’t have the personality.”

2. “Shes got to have those EYES..
…and that ass.”

3. “One word- INDEPENDENT..
a woman who is independent is extremely important. No body wants a woman that is dependent on of them to do things. I know i want a woman who is secure and can take care of herself.”

4. “An HONEST woman..
that’s one of my top favorite qualities.”

5. “Her ability to be DOWN TO EARTH..
a girl that knows how to hold a conversation and isn’t afraid to speak her mind. Beauty is one thing. You can be the best looking girl in the world, which some guys do go for, but looks only go so far. Looks grow old.”

6. “A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR..
I really love a girl that doesn’t take herself too seriously. Someone who isn’t afraid to be goofy with me…like a girl that can have a good time anywhere.. even if it’s in the damn grocery store.”

7. “A beautiful SMILE…
nothing is better than a girl with nice teeth and a beautiful smile.. especially if I’m the only making her smile.”

8. “A nice ASS…
I love a girl with a nice ASS and a great body.”

9. “LIPS..
I think the best quality in a woman is her lips. The way they smile, tease us, lick their lips, an drives us crazy has to be the finest asset in any woman.

10. “A woman who makes me better..
someone who understands and supports me and the sacrifices I’m making to better my future. A ride or die woman, a best friend. I put so much into a relationship, all i ask is for that in return.”

11. “INTELLIGENCE..
and I’m not just talking about well read. I’m talking a girl who knows what life really is all about.”

12.” FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE..
I don’t mind treating a girl when out on a date but I love it when a girl doesn’t always expect it!”

13. “An OPEN MINDED WOMAN..
when she knows all about my past but judges me only on the person I am now instead of the person I was and the mistakes I made.”

14. “A woman’s MINDSET..
the way a woman thinks. Is she positive? Driven? Does she take care of herself? Is she genuine?”

15. “Has a strong FAITH..
most attractive quality to me is that she is like minded in faith and loves Jesus..”

16. “A woman who is ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL..
one that looks just as good without make up as she does with. One who loves to dress up just as much as she loves to be be in her sweats..”

17. “A SMART GIRL..
a girl to be smart in life- street smart and book smart. Smart enough to have a great job, smart with money and smart with life decisions. That always makes for a strong relationship.”

18. “For me it’s CONFIDENCE..
and a woman who is comfortable with herself in any situation. She’s not insecure and not afraid to reach out to other people in unfamiliar situations; allows herself to trust me in a vulnerable situation.”

19. “A CARING woman..
that’s a quality i prefer.

20. “SINCERITY…
with a warm smile, nice teeth, and an innocent (not corrupted) look.”

21. “That’s a hard one..
I think each woman has different attractive qualities..”

22. “TRUSTWORTHY..
I was previously married and i caught my ex-wife cheating on me. Needless to say that devastated me and broke my heart. I swore to myself if i ever re-married I would have to be with someone who would never cheat and never make me feel insecure again.” TC mark









Thought Catalog

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quote
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1.

Usdollar100front

2.

“I hooked up with my boyfriend’s brother 6 years before I ever met him. It was some weird twist of fate that the brother and I went to the same college. I only found out about it after my boyfriend and I met and fell in love, when I finally met his family at Christmas. Suffice to say, it was a weird holiday, but it wasn’t really worth explaining to him that he was getting his little brother’s sloppy seconds.”

3.

BCFC / iStockPhoto
iStockPhoto / BCFC

4.

“My boyfriend — fiancé as of last week — thinks I’m a virgin. In fact, all of my friends and family think I’m a virgin; because of my religion I’ve vowed to stay celibate until marriage. What no one knows is that last year, I had an abortion.”

5.

iStockphoto / diego_cervo
iStockphoto / diego_cervo

6.

“I used to be a webcam model in college. It paid for my tuition for both undergrad, grad school, and let me add some to my savings. Although I haven’t cammed in a couple of years my boyfriend’s best friend sent me a message on Facebook one night that he found an old video of mine on a site somewhere. He said he wouldn’t tell my boyfriend but it’s always in the back of my mind he might find out.”

7.

iStockPhoto / okeyphotos
iStockPhoto / okeyphotos

8.

“When I was 19, I left the country and went to Spain and lived there for four years. I met a guy there and we had a kid. We broke up and I came back to the US. When I met my current boyfriend, I didn’t tell him I have a daughter. He’ll never know.”

9.

iStockphoto / cclickclick
iStockphoto / cclickclick

10.

“I’m currently dealing drugs out of our house.”

11.

iStockphoto / pixhook
iStockphoto / pixhook

12.

“I still keep an active Tinder and OkCupid account even though I’ve been married for two years.”

13.

iStockphoto / warrengoldswain
iStockphoto / warrengoldswain

14.

“I don’t plan on asking my girlfriend to marry me. I know she wants it, but I like how we are right now.”

15.

iStockphoto / buzsu4ever
iStockphoto / buzsu4ever

16.

For the past year, I’ve stolen about four grand in total from my girlfriend. I have so much debt to pay off and I know she’ll dump me if I tell her about it. So instead, I’ve stolen about from her wallet every day for the past year.

17.

iStockphoto / AtnoYdur
iStockphoto / AtnoYdur

18.

“I actually hate cats. Sometimes I try to shoo my girlfriend’s cat away from her apartment, but she lives in a ground-floor apartment with a garden, so the cat always knows how to come back. She loves that thing more than she loves me, so I know which one she’d pick.” TC mark

featured image – Flickr / Alex Dram









Thought Catalog

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no happy ending?
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