To the person/people who refuse to clean up after their pets:
- No, it’s cool. I’m sure your dog’s shit is going to fertilize the lawn and not cause any problems. Thanks for being mindful of the landscape’s future. Also, I hope you step on a LEGO brick.
To the person/people who like to let their toddler throw things off the balcony:
- You should really work with him on his follow-through. He has potential to be a great athlete, but he needs to put a little more work into skill building if he is going to go pro. I mean, not all great athletes get their start flinging DVDs, panties and bottles of dish soap off the balcony. His story is a unique one. Nuture that. Also, I think I have half of someone’s sandwich on my balcony.
To the person/people who have a pet skunk:
- I love animals. They are great, but your skunk is REALLY stinky. I mean, I hear you all laughing a lot and watching Cheech and Chong movies, so I assume you have a lot of fun over there with your skunk. I’m just wondering if maybe you could work on his smell not permeating the hallways?? Maybe you should take the little guy to a vet? Or get some air freshener?
To the people who throw their trash beside the dumpster:
- There is LITERALLY a big hole in the SIDE of the dumpster that is specifically there as a portal for your trash to go the landfill. If you put the trash beside the dumpster, your trash will have less of a chance of making its magic journey to the land of refuse. Please, consider the trash’s feelings. Also, you eat a WHOLE lot of Easy Mac.
To the person/people who refuse to take their lint out of the communal dryers:
- Thank YOU! I’m going to knit a sweater with all of this lint so I can feel like you’re part of me.
To the person/people who like to have really loud arguments:
- Look, I know that relationships are hard. I’m sad to hear that your ‘whore wife’ cheated on you with Ronnie from the F.O.P lodge. That is understandably upsetting. I’m also upset to hear that you think she would ‘fuck anything with two legs and a prescription of Viagra.’ One thing I would like to point out, though…I should not know any of these things about your life. Get some counseling and tone it down. Sorry about the infidelity though…that sucks.
To the neighbors that like to leave their blinds open:
- Please don’t. I ran out of eye bleach.
To the person who likes to leave passive aggressive notes in the hallways:
- Seriously? Who does that? I mean…OBVIOUSLY you should write a passive aggressive article and get it published on the internet! Step up your game there, buddy. I’m tired of handling your light work.
To the person/people who cook…interesting food:
- I am not a chef. I make a mean tuna melt, and my lasagna is on point. I appreciate the efforts put forth to partake in all kinds of cuisine. With that said, the problem here is that when you cook, it smells like the inside of a Sarlacc’s mouth and make me dry heave. I don’t know what kind of ingredients you are using or even if they are legal, but PLEASE for the love of all humanity…open a window, get take out or just stop cooking stuff that gives off an odor so offensive that even Bill Maher is upset about it.
To the person who threw up on the stoop and just…left it there:
I’m just going to assume you’re a Sociology major and you were monitoring people’s reaction to this heinous behavior. I choose to believe this because if the truth is that you are just an asshole, I will have to fight the urge to poop in front of your door and leave it there. Don’t make me put in that extra effort. Good luck with your studies.
Found on r/AskReddit. Thanks to all that gave permission to republish.
1. Make friends by being friendly. Go out to bars. Join clubs of things that interest you. Go to work functions.
I would try to find a hobby or club and invest in it. That way you’re making friends that have similar interests. Also don’t judge people automatically. This will cripple your chances.
2. Hang out with work people outside of work and with their friends. My friends increase through mutual friends. a lot of the time I end up leaving the job and years later I’m still friends with that person I never worked with but met through a co-worker.
Conventions are also a good place to make friends.
3. I started commenting on a blog about my favorite pro sports team. We all started getting together and I found a ton more friends from that.
4. Work – 5 days a week you get to spend time with a group of other people, one might want to be friends.
Gym – 4 days a week, same thing.
Club meetings, any club – 1-2 days a week, same thing.
If you find something to do on a regular basis that involves other people, you could befriend the people that also come on a daily basis.
5. I think the biggest thing is to make the effort to make a friend when you are doing all the things other people will mention such as hobbies, clubs or other social events. In other words, get their number, add them on facebook or maybe ask if they want to hang out or do something. Most people are not going to be proactive. It’s kind of similar to meeting a SO in that respect. You can’t just expect it to happen.
6. I just moved to a new town and have met two super chill girls by posting on Craigslist Strictly Platonic. I got a lot of dick pics in my inbox but I would say it was worth it to meet them. Worth a shot.
7. Take a course. Cooking classes, Spanish, AutoCAD, … Doesn’t matter what. It’s not strange to come alone and you’ll naturally start talking to people.
8. I have made a lot of friends through other friends. So try making one or two friends through work, or join a city sports league. You can also try taking fun classes through your local community college. Like mine offers a BBQ class, sewing, dancing, etc.
9. Don’t discriminate age. I’m 28 years old and my friends range from 19 to 70 years old. They all contribute to my life in some way and I respect/care about them all. Even the ones where there is basically a VH1 special between our ages, teach me things and keep me grounded from becoming an angry old man.
Basically talk to anyone who is willing to talk to you. Be sure to listen as well. Friends will happen after that.
10. Regular accidental contact.
Initially this sounds a little like stalking, so I’m going to have to explain a little.
You made friends at school / college because you turned up to places to do ‘something’. The people that were there were secondary to your main goal or task. Basically you turned up to maths every day and so did the dude sitting 3 seats away. This is the regular accidental contact.
As an adult, this only really happens at work and the age differences can be problematic. This is why people suggest joining sports teams or clubs that meet on a regular basis. You meet up to ‘generic sport’ and of the 15-20 other people that do there might be 5 that are potential friends. The non-threatening nature of ‘I’m here to do something’ is basically an excuse to have the regular contact where you find out more about these people and can develop a friendship.
Since this friendship business requires regular contact, places like bars are often pretty poor – unless you are one of the regulars. Sports, Hobby clubs, book groups are all the sort of places that replace the classroom of yesterday.
Adult life makes most of your regular tasks revolve around a small group of people (workmates / family / flatmates), you need to find regular contact groups outside that subset.
11. Well, just like anything in life, how bad do you want it?
When I first moved to the big city I spent a whole year getting more and more lonely. I had spent my whole life before that in the same small town and I never learned how to make friends at all because people just kinda showed up in my circles.
I got fucking tired of drinking alone on weekends and not really getting anywhere making friends and one night, following a random impulse, I grabbed a piece of paper and took a sharpie and wrote, “Just moved here and don’t know anyone. Buy me a drink?” and taped it to my back.
I set out downtown and found myself making conversation with lots of people that read my sign. Sure, some were drunk and thought it was a kick me sign or whatever, but not a single person was unpleasant. Towards the end of the evening, a guy came up to me in a bar and said “Hey man. I read your sign. I’m sitting with a group of cool people and we all just moved here not too long ago. Wanna come hang?” We ended up being friends for years after that night
12. Joining a recreational sports league is an easy way to make friends if you are into a certain sport.
13. Ever watch “Yes man” With Jim Carrey?
If you want change in your life, you have to be willing to challenge yourself to go outside your comfort zone. It usually starts with saying yes.
You want to make friends? Well that starts by striking up conversations with people and planning out activities. Grab a drink, make it casual, but you just have to put yourself out there.
14. Do things that are so enjoyable for you, that you forget about the awkwardness of small talk.
15. I smoke cigs. When I go to smoke one I go to a smoking area and say hi to people sitting there. All my friends are smokers.
None of us can quit because we drag each other down.
16. You can travel on your own. The culture of hostelling basically throws the “Regular accidental contact” stuff out the window because guess what, you’re probably not going to see this person ever again in a day or two. Regular accidental contact is an impossibility (although it happened once for me, that blew my mind). Because of that you make the most of it now. You introduce yourself, get to know them and if you like them maybe the two (or more) of you can go on a crazy adventure together to solidify that friendship within a few hours. You can make friends literally all over the world this way and if you keep in contact maybe you can move to their country someday, or them to you. You might even find someone from your own city, if it’s relatively big then it’s possible.
17. Move to another country with very little money. You will either make friends or die.
18. Basically, be yourself and like yourself, do things you like to do, and put in a bit of effort.
1) This Is The Most Important. Be yourself, and be a person that you yourself like. Like tracts like, and if you dig yourself and are yourself you will attract the kind of people that you can develop friendships with.
If this seems daunting, invest in some counseling for yourself. Outsource the problem of being inauthentic or not loving yourself to an expert.
Without this step you will not be able to form real, genuine bonds with other people. So seriously work on yourself first.
2) Once self esteem and authenticity issues are out of the way, put your awesome self out in the world and meet some new people. It’s just a matter if time before you start pulling kindred spirits in left and right, but if you put yourself in the right spots it will jump start the process.
Rather than say “I need friends,” which is rather nebulous, say “I want friends to do _____ with.” It will help guide you in the right direction.
You like something intellectual? Take a class or join a local interest group. Geology, coin collecting, book club, etc.
Love a certain band? Go to a concert and talk to the people around you.
You like drinking? Go hang out at a bar that has the vibe you like. Befriend the bartender, owner, regulars.
Sports are your thing? Probably not, because this one is so easy and recreational sport leagues are abundant…but if you like a sport go do that.
Do you like your job? If not, seek out a job where you click with the culture. Your coworkers will become your buddies.
3) Finally, make the people that you meet feel welcome and wanted by being an active participant in the new friendship. Follow through. Put in the effort. Put yourself out there and invite people that you want to befriend to hang out. Initiate contact the appropriate amount for whatever your temperaments are.
I am drafting this letter on the bench we used to frequent.
If you’re reading this now, this letter was sent a year ago and the feelings may be gone (I suppose) but the memories will linger on and relive inside the corners of my mind.
You crushed me. Again. I couldn’t find a better avenue than this because as much as I wanted to talk about us to someone, I don’t want to burden my friends anymore with all the dramas you put me into. You’re the source of all my emotions and the only one I want to talk about it with and therefore I am writing this letter to you, but in a different lifetime.
I don’t intend to write down and rant about how you got me dizzy trying to run me around in circles and leaving me hanging.
You told me you have yourself to blame for making me assume that what we had was something beyond what we think we had. Then you told me we were just friends. Nothing more. And that I shouldn’t expect anything from this. That we’ll never be an item. After eight long months of exclusively seeing each other and doing all those stuff real couples do.
I’m sorry that I’ve been such a baby, believing that you looked at me differently. That maybe someday you’d love me back. That what we had was something you didn’t have with any other “girl friends.” That you loved watching me giggle at the sight of sunsets and stars. That you and I could maybe (just maybe) go on forever. But I got it all wrong.
You’re 26. You’re cloaked in misery and loneliness. I saw the sadness in your eyes that rooted from the loss of your father, to being left by your siblings and to how your mother has never been a mother to you. I have seen how your days went by. Of how you were occupied by work. And that even when you spent time with your friends and your cousins and even me, I felt the weight of your world—of how you were searching for that missing piece that could light up the murky corners of your life.
I was there when all you ever wanted was someone to talk to. And I let you talk for hours knowing that it was the prescription that you needed. You were troubled. But I tried my best not to smack it on your face because the least help a troubled person needed was to be told that they are troubled. And so I kept up with your being bipolar. I wasn’t used to adjusting because in the past, I was always the one being adjusted with. But with you, I learned to understand people. I learned how to deal with their issues and I learned how to keep my calm even after I’ve been shouted at, pushed back, and taken for granted.
You know the kind of love that happens only once in a lifetime? I thought what we had was something close to that. I know it’s cliché to say this but I think it’ll take me forever to move on from you because what we had was something great (or so I thought). I know you loved me too, even just for a while. But my love for you is so great that even if you try to reciprocate all the things I did for you, and the love I felt for you, it’ll probably take you forever before you can achieve the magnitude of it all.
I tried to get busy and keep my mind away from the thought of you. But I couldn’t. You’re my default. You’re the only one I think of when my mind floats away from reality. Now I’m crying as reality sinks in—that I’ll never get to have those conversations with you again. You were my diary. I used to tell you everything that happens in a day—in my day. Now I’ll have to resort to paper and pen and blogging again.
Inasmuch as I wanted to dwell on the thought of you for as long as I can take and live in the memories we shared, I think it’s about time that I give myself credit for loving someone so much without asking for anything in return, no matter how they treat me like I’m just-another-girl-they-could-play-with. It’s called unconditional love, look it up.
Thank you for the bumpiest roller coaster ride I’ve ever experienced. The way up was crazy and I loved it. I swear I loved every second of it. But you know what happens at the end of falling? Landing. And because your roller coaster was at sky level, the impact I had whilst falling was a million times harder and more intense than on the way up. It was as if I skyrocketed—only downwards. And the moment I hit the ground, all I got was bruises and scars. Bruises heal but scars don’t. I wanted to erase all the memories we shared, but I don’t want to forget about you.
Please tell me that the last eight months weren’t just pretense.
I love you but I don’t know how not to. You will forever be my always.
Lots of love and tears,
The one that got away
Happiness is such an abstract and subjective matter. Some people can be happy ‘just’ by being able to eat once every day. Some people need to be really successful to be happy. Some people need to be great in what they are doing to be happy. A few people need to be the best in their classes to be happy. A few people need to have it all to be happy. A few people are so clueless that they don’t even know what they want to be happy.
I know some of you must be thinking: “What do a 20-something person know about life and happiness? You were just born yesterday!” Well, based on my experience, age has very little with maturity. So, let me share my thoughts. Here it is.
1. Happiness is subjective.
How you see happiness has to do with the way you are raised, your lifestyle, your habits, your family, your personality, your everything. What you have experienced and saw in your life will subconsciously form your opinion about your idea of happiness. In short, your idea of happiness is all in your mindset. After all, what happens to you is mostly in your mind.
For example, as a person that lives in a big city, you probably have experienced when you should choose between prioritizing your lifestyle or your needs. Meanwhile, a person that live in a really small village or a forest in Africa will not have this problem. They don’t have lifestyle needs like the people that lives in the big cities. See? Some people simply need more efforts to be happy than the others.
2. Happiness is about enjoying ‘pains’.
Everyone has problems. It is life. The happiest people are the ones that can laugh while they try to overcome their problems. They do not let doubts and little problems prevent them from getting what they really want. They can enjoy ‘pains’ because they know life is all about risks, priorities, and sacrifices.
That’s why I always try to enjoy the process of getting what I want and overcoming my problems. I want to be happy, no matter the circumstances. It’s all in your mindset. If you want to be happy, you simply have to decide that you want to be happy. As simple as that. If you complain of every small things in your life, you can not see the bigger picture and enjoy life the way it should be enjoyed.
3. Happiness is not luck.
There are no valuable thing that is easy to be attained. If someone tells you otherwise, they are talking bullshit. Why? Because if you get something out of luck, you will not be much happy about it. It is no longer be so valuable to you. If you work hard to get something, you will appreciate it more and be so satisfied when you finally get it. Humans are complicated, right?
For example, using your own money to buy a camera would be different than asking your parents to buy it for you. It does not give me any satisfaction if I get it without effort.
4. Happiness is when you stop trying to change what you can not change.
You only have the control over yourself and your mind. But, there are simply some situations or problems that you can not change. You also do not have the control over someone else’s minds and actions. If you can not change it, do not spend time thinking and trying to change it. It is no longer smart nor healthy to obsess over it. Just focus on the problems that you can handle right now.
Stop over-thinking things. Most of our problems are only created in our minds. In reality, the problem is not happening yet. Instead of worrying, why don’t you do something about it and prevent it from happening?
5. Happiness is whatever you want it to be.
In short, happiness is all in your mind, your choice. You make your own rules and formula to be happy. It is all your own decision. If you decide that you simply need A, B, C in your life to be happy, so be it.
If you are not happy right now, you have two choices to be happier in my opinion. You can change your mindset and expectations or you can learn to enjoy the struggle and ‘pain’ to achieve your happiness standard.
Life needs balance. You should be happy enough to appreciate life with its ups and downs. But it is also not the best thing to be so happy until the point where you are too easy to be satisfied with your life. If you are too happy, you will not make any progress in your life. I think it is ‘healthy’ to always have new goals and ambitions but maintaining a happy face when you try to pursue it.