1. Not wearing oversized everything.
There was a hipster trend of wearing gigantic sweaters and slouchy t-shirts that stuck around way longer than it should have because (spoiler alert) oversized items are really comfortable. But, at the end of the day, it’s like wearing pajamas and no one feels good about themself wearing, essentially, pajamas in public.
2. Dressing up when you want someone’s approval.
You shouldn’t do this because it’s okay to judge people without nice clothes, you should do this as a sign humbly showing someone you care about their opinion, like when you meet your significant other’s parents. I remember seeing Paul Ryan speaking for the first time when he was on McCain’s ticket wearing an open collared shirt. I think he was trying to look working class, but my working class friend made his dog wear a bow tie when it met our priest. I wish he would have just put a tie on to show people he cared about impressing them (the way they’d do if they were to meet him).
3. Tailoring items to your body.
You don’t have to do this with every item you own, but it’s actually not that expensive to get your jeans hemmed to the perfect height for you. They’ll look great and you’ll feel special wearing something you know is fitted specifically to your body.
4. Casual collared shirts.
For both men and women a saturday collared shirt look is always stylish. It’s a dressed up look but it’s comfortable enough to wear casually. Let us look to Lord Disick for inspiration:
5. Dresses on women, suits on men.
Everyone looks great in these, all the time. Look at how chic Tippi Hedren and Rod Taylor look in The Birds — and they’ve just been terrorized by maniac birds for the past few days:
6. Dressing up for dates.
If you are in your 20′s and single dating can get kind of tedious and unexciting. When Girls star Zosia Mamet went on Conan she noted this saying that when she was on a date she couldn’t help but think “I could be reading my book right now.” Dressing up for dates is twofold: in your own mind it helps you tell yourself “this is an event I care about and am excited for,” and it conveys that same message to your date, making it more exciting for them.
7. Using a personal shopper.
Personal shoppers are the best kept secret in the world because it seems like something only rich people would use. They aren’t. A lot of department stores and boutiques have personal shoppers that work for free for the customer. They are used to helping people figure out what looks best on their body, they see things you can’t. You can even tell them what your budget is and they will help you get as many great pieces as possible within that budget.
8. Quality over quantity.
With cheap retailers like Forever 21 and H&M it’s pretty easy and inexpensive to get a bunch of cheap items every season instead of investing in quality pieces that will last for years. You’ll save money (and have better clothes) if you get high-quality, simple items and just cheap retailers to add accessories and a trend piece or two each season.
9. Blazers in the workplace.
For men, a suit jacket is obvious, but for women in 2014 this option gets overlooked far too often. Cardigans and sweater tops are great, but nothing makes you feel as confident and put-together as a great blazer. Try to argue with how flawless and powerful Ivanka looks in hers:
10. Dressing up for parties with your friends.
Going to a party at your friends house is typically a casual event — which is fun. However, dressing up for the event will make it feel more special. You’ll remember the effort you put into the party and how great everyone looked. Plus: all the photos of the party will be frame-worthy.
I’m sorry that our love often felt like a one-way street.
I stayed with you longer than I should have because I was afraid of being alone.
I shouldn’t have tried to make you into my everything—my lover, my confidant, my father, my therapist, my punching bag.
I stayed with you in part because I was terrified of hurting your family and having your friends all hate me.
I now see how wrong it was that I knowingly withheld sex, intimacy, my feelings, the truth, and all of the things one is supposed to give their partner.
When we went to couples therapy I secretly hoped that it wouldn’t fix us.
I thought about breaking up for an entire year before we actually did, but I was too much a coward to face it head-on. Instead, I tried to push you away and make the relationship insufferable.
I stayed because I felt safe with you.
I secretly wished you were taller and more confident, that you made me feel smaller and more feminine. I wanted you to be steadfast, to not be such a doormat, and to put me in my place when I deserved it.
The love that I had and still have for you is so strong and overwhelming that even today I’m not quite sure what to do with it.
I still don’t understand how it’s possible to love someone so profoundly and yet not want to be with them.
I don’t think I will ever find a man as kind, honest, patient, or loyal as you. I can’t imagine another man loving me as unconditionally and selflessly as you did.
You were the best friend I ever had.
A month before we broke up, I spent my days researching wedding venues; I guess love doesn’t always make sense.
There are those times when I’m so overwhelmed with good news or doubled over drowning in fear, and I immediately want to call you. No one can understand me quite like you; you were the only one who made me feel like it would all be okay.
I wish we could still be friends, but I understand why we can’t.
When we broke up the final time it felt like a chunk of my heart had been gouged out, like an entire slab of my identity had gone missing.
A couple of times in the past year, I experienced such dreadful anxiety attacks that I almost called you to help me through it. But I didn’t. I didn’t because I knew that it would make our separation that much more painful. I didn’t because I knew I was stronger than that, and that I owed it to you to not play with your heart.
From our relationship, I have learned so much about how not to handle a relationship.
It’s a year later and I still wonder every day if breaking up was the wrong decision. But today I am undoubtedly a stronger and more self-aware woman than I ever could be with you. I always gave you credit for making me better, but now I see that I’m the only one that has that power. We both made a ton of mistakes and perhaps stayed together far longer than we should have, but I don’t regret a single moment of those five years. I hope you feel the same.
1. “I’m hungover but I still want to look reasonably cute.”
There are different levels of hungover, and granted, some of them prevent you from leaving the house entirely. But if you are at the point of hungover where you can make it to the corner store to get yourself a Gatorade and maybe a meatball sub, you are gonna try to put it together as much as possible, just on the off-chance you run into someone and have to look like a human being for a minute. This outfit consists of jeggings/yoga pants, a loose-fitting sweater, enormous sunglasses, and ballet flats. Always.
2. “First date with a guy I’m honestly not that into.”
Ballet flats again, because you’re not trying to roll your ankle for some dude with a lame OkCupid profile picture. Then probably a sweet, simple dress that shows a little thigh but is still completely comfortable and likely not form-fitting. He’ll think you’re “cute and casual,” but really you’re just “lazy and planning on eating a lot.”
3. “Nailing every interview, even ones I’m not qualified for.”
This outfit is the cold, classic standby — sensible, patent heels, a pencil skirt, and a button-down. It’s the outfit you catch yourself in in a shop window while on your way to your interview and actually think, “Whoa, who is this classy, put-together bitch, because I do not recognize her???” You immediately feel overqualified for any job, even if you’re just interviewing for yet another unpaid intern ship you’ll spend getting coffee and complaining.
4. “Drinks with friends where the guy you like might be there, but you don’t want to look like you were expecting him.”
Oh, you just happened to put on the jeans that make your ass look flawless and that low-cut cream-colored top. It wasn’t like you were planning to do anything but get drinks with the friends, you just always look light and sexy. (Basically this is the outfit that really hot pilates moms wear in greek yogurt commercials — totally appealing, but effortless.)
5. “The cute outfit you’ve had pieces for, but needed a Pinterest board to bring it together.”
You always had the components, but not until you saw the post online did you fully realize how cute it could all be together. And you turn to your closet, like a wife turning over in bed and catching her husband in that perfect moonlight after 20 years together that makes him look young again, and fall back in love with every item you own. And find an errand to run that very day so you can show it off.
6. “I’m feeling heavy.”
The flowy tunic and the stretchy pants. And the Domino’s you’re going to order while looking the delivery guy directly in the eye like, “Yes, this is all for me. I own it.”
7. “Looks good from the knees down and neck up because I have no intention of taking my coat off.”
Running to the grocery store on a cold day? No need to take off your nightgown. Just layer on that chic-enough coat, throw on some boots, and make it look as though you’re wearing a functional human outfit. (Of course, this outfit immediately blows up in your face if you run into someone you know and they’re like “Hey, let’s grab a coffee!” No, you cannot grab a coffee, because you are wearing a Snuggie under your coat.)
8. “The pretend ‘around-the-house’ outfit.”
We all know what real around-the-house clothes are, and it’s probably something like “ratty old tee shirt from your high school class trip and sweatpants with a broken drawstring.” But when you message the guy you’ve been seeing like “Come over, I’m just doing laundry, we can hang out,” you cannot let him know that your hanging-out clothes make you look like a dirty Michelin man. So you put on the yoga pants, the low-cut, loose tank top, and the messy bun with the few sexy tendrils coming out of it, and pretend like this is how you dress while watching House Hunters and eating Pringles.
9. “The dress/top that looks good from across the bar/table only.”
Your boobs look incredible, but everything downward is a puffy, mushroomy, clingy-on-the-stomach mess. But the boobs look incredible!
10. “Going to see an old girlfriend that I desperately need to impress.”
This is the most important outfit of them all. It may be a solid-color dress with a chunky necklace. It may be the perfect pair of jeans with a statement bag and a crisp, white button-down. It may be a leather jacket and riding boots. Whatever it is — and it depends on the girl you’re meeting — it is your Most Realized Self, and at least two notches better than you normally look. Because there is no moment more important than “meeting up with an impeccable girl who has high sartorial standards.” It’s where you bring the big guns out.
Now before you yell at me and say BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS SONG!?!? I know there are other incredible songs he’s done, but tough decisions have to be made. If this was The Walking Dead and I had to pick 25 Kanye songs to rescue, these guys would be on my lifeboat. (We’re escaping to an island in this hypothetical story.) So here it is, the 25 best Kanye songs of all time:
25. All of the Lights
24. Send It Up
23. Last Call
22. Dark Fantasy
20. All Falls Down
16. Flashing Lights
15. Welcome to Heartbreak
13. Hell of a Life
12. Gold Digger
11. Get Em High
10. Hey Mama
9. Niggas in Paris
6. Jesus Walks
5. Black Skinhead
3. Through the Wire
2. Can’t Tell Me Nothing
1. People ultimately all want the same things: to feel needed, loved and appreciated.
2. Everything we want in life is driven by the feeling it stirs inside us. It’s always a feeling.
3. Sometimes we have to agree to disagree. And just because we disagree with someone, doesn’t mean we don’t love them.
4. True love cannot be broken by distance or time. When it’s true, it feels that way.
5. Every single person we meet knows something we don’t know. Having an open mind over passing judgment will always lead to unexpected lessons.
6. No matter where in the world we are, everyone understands a smile. When in doubt, smile.
7. The little things can some times make the biggest difference.
8. Happiness is an inside job. And no matter how we feel on the inside, we are responsible for how we behave on the outside.
9. When we realize no one is perfect, we also realize that those who hurt us are the only ones who can teach us genuine forgiveness.
10. The things in our lives that we cannot change were put there to change us.
11. Fear is an illusion cleverly positioned to keep us right where we are. Fear not.
12. Sometimes you have to decide you want something more than you are afraid of it.
13. The truth always takes care of itself sooner or later.
14. The love we receive is directly related to the love we give.
15. Wisdom has more to do with our openness to learn and less to do with how many birthdays we have celebrated.
16. Learning should be reflected in doing. You are not what you say you will do.
17. Experience is what we get when we don’t get what we want.
18. Life is very short and presence is much more than just being there. Practice more presence.
19. Our attention is one of the most important things we can give to someone.
20. Our loved ones should know exactly who they are always. You never know when it may be the last chance you have to tell them.
21. We should treasure experiences over possessions.
22. An ending is really a beginning, depending on perception.
23. We should pray our hardest during the times it is hardest to pray. Remember, trials are an incubator for miracles.
24. Always treat others how you would want to be treated. If you wouldn’t appreciate it, it’s fairly certain they won’t either.
25. You were born because you are going to be important to someone. Think about that.
26. We should always be mindful of the moment. We never know when we are creating a memory. And often we don’t realize it will be one of our fondest until all we can do is call on it.
27. You will never have to force anything that is truly meant for you. What’s meant for you arrives and stays effortlessly.
28. We don’t always get what we want, but we are always given what we need. Most of the time, not getting what we want ends up being exactly what we need.
29. Be thankful for all the magnificent people and experiences given to us each and every day. The more thankful we are, the more we are given to be thankful for.
30. May we always remember that there is someone out there who is happy with much less than what we have, dreaming of the things we take for granted.
Happiness stems from what we believe in. Believe in yourself. Believe in love. Believe in miracles. They are always brewing.