This one goes out to Bikram Choudhury, the founder of Bikram Yoga who is currently facing multiple charges of sexual assault and harassment. Namaste.
1. You can’t do honey masks because you always end up licking them off.
2. You tore your hamstring in trikonasana. Twice.
3. You’re not good on planes.
4. You’re awful at natarajasana, but actually quite good at panic attacks.
5. You’re much more excited about the prospect of a Sia dance class than a Beyoncé dance class.
6. Then again, you’re not really sure, because the last time you tried to dance you pulled a muscle in your neck.
7. The thought of having a natural birth makes you lol.
8. Wearing a beret is simply not in your future.
9. A yoga retreat has always sounded a lot like jail to you.
10. After you did hot yoga that one (and last) time, you walked out of the studio, straight to the nearest ER, and admitted yourself for exhaustion and impending death.
11. You’re physically allergic to camping — aside for the s’mores part. S’mores you love.
12. You’re pretty sure your chakras are misaligned and you’re pretty sure you don’t care.
13. You don’t have a green thumb — in fact you kill every plant that crosses your path — but you DO have green veins that sort of pop out every time you’re running late.
14. You’re very proud to call yourself one of the seven people in the world who think acupuncture hurts in the same way needles do.
15. The only times you feel balanced are after giving yourself a middle part.
16. Just THINKING about Buddha makes you hungry.
17. You always thought Shavasana was a form of punishment. Now it just makes you nervous.
18. In a similar vein, you don’t find it a coincidence that Shavasana translates to “corpse pose.”
19. Getting sick and/or dying because you couldn’t take one breath while inhaling your plate of chicken fingers is a very real concern of yours.
20. More times than not, when someone taps your shoulder at work to ask you a question, your entire body seizes as you scream bloody murder.
21. You get an undue amount of pleasure from doing self-flagellating things like downloading that app that shows you who has unfollowed you. (Incidentally, you also know the app is called InstaFollow, but pretended not to know because you still think it’s possible to convince others that you’re namaste.)
22. You’re allergic to sandalwood.
23. You would only consider hugging a tree if it was a sure-fire ticket out of the woods.
Hugs… we all give them away. Some are solid bear hugs with a tight squeeze, maybe even with a slight swaying side to side, and others are light-hearted hugs. Or, if hugging the opposite sex, a nice side hug with a touch of the ribs and shoulders may be more appropriate. We all love hugs. At least most of us do, and here is why I think you should consider doubling up your efforts on hugging.
1. Hugging releases oxytocin, a chemical that has been linked to happiness and social bonding. According to research at DePauw University, oxytocin promotes the feelings of trust and devotion.
The catch is the longer, the better. In order to fully release the oxytocin in your body and the person you are hugging, it needs to be at least 6 seconds, although a super-long 20-second hug will maximize this.
Hugging your loved ones just a bit longer will strengthen your bond to each other.
2. As a child, we all remember the comforting aid from a parent after we were injured or woke up from a scary dream – comfort that always started and ended with a hug. The act of your mother or father holding you. Hugs are clearly something humans use naturally as a way to physically say “I love you.”
3. Believe it or not, hugging can actually reduce your blood pressure. Activating pressure receptors in your body, they send signals to the part of your brain responsible for lowering your blood pressure. Dang, bet Quaker Oatmeal didn’t see that one coming. Instead of eating this horrible hot breakfast, you can just cook some eggs instead and offer up some hugs in the morning.
4. Romantic hugs keep the heart strong, literally! In 2009, a study by the American Psychosomatic Society revealed that partners who engaged in hand holding and a 20-second hug before speaking about a stressful situation had a lower heart rate and lower blood pressure than participants who were left alone to rest quietly without their partners before speaking.
Here are their findings:
Blood pressure soared in the no-contact people. Their systolic reading jumped 24 points, more than double the rise for the huggers, and their diastolic also rose significantly higher.
The non-huggers also saw their heart rate increase 10 beats a minute, compared to the huggers, who only saw an increase of 5 beats while discussing a stressful situation.
5. It reduces stress. In other studies on touch, researchers have found that the human touch lowers output of cortisol, a stress hormone. But it goes even further, because not only does the human touch reduce stress levels, but it also increases serotonin and dopamine, two brain chemicals that make you feel good.
6. Maximize your hugs with romance. Unfortunately, hugging random people doesn’t have near the effect on hugging people you are in love with. A University of Miami Medical School study discovered that nothing releases good brain chemicals into the body compared to a person you are romantically involved with.
7. Forgetting about all the scientific studies, hugging feels good. Squeezing your children, wrapping your arms around your spouse, or welcoming a friend into your life, the act itself is very rewarding for both parties. It’s also hard to be upset when you are hugging someone.
I start each day with tons of hugs to my wife and 3 children in the morning. Our children make it onto our bed every morning for a good 10 to 15 minutes, where each of us takes turns hugging and tickling one another. I imagine when my kids are older, this will cease forever, which makes me cherish each and every morning this routine stays alive.
Focusing on someone who has bigger problems than you is an easy way to avoid your own issues. You want someone who will make your own baggage seem inconsequential because it provides a sense of relief.
2. You’re afraid to move on.
So you take him on as your purpose, because it makes staying put a more legitimate choice. When you’re stagnant, you want an excuse that will disprove that. The reason you can ever give for staying is, “he needs me,” which has nothing to do with your own happiness.
3. You are attracted to people with baggage.
You want to support him because he can’t support himself. You are at your best when you are caring for someone else’s wounds and want to put your energy into solving all of his unsolvables.
4. You want to be needed.
You’re sick of rejection and are deflecting by moving into a situation where someone will rely on you. Caring for someone when they most need it guarantees that they will end up relying on you. You become their go-to person for their immediate struggles and you relish that feeling because it makes you feel secure.
5. Affection is becoming your currency.
You trade it in for appreciation because that’s what you need. It’s a symbiotic relationship: you give him affection, he loves you in return.
6. You are infatuated with the concept of building someone up.
Making things happen for someone else is underrated. It’s not that you don’t have dreams of your own, it’s that you like helping others along the way. It’s not a bad thing at all, but you have to be doing it for the right reasons. Is making someone fall for you the right reason?
7. You love to love.
Not the act of ~~being in love~~ so much as giving your love to someone else. Giving your love to others is part of your identity, which is why you’re uncertain when you’re not in a relationship.
8. You can’t stand to see him not succeed.
Just because you’ve long since fallen out of love with him doesn’t mean you can stand to watch them fail. It’s too hard to watch him struggle when you know exactly what he’s capable of. You believe he deserves so much better and want to make him see that for himself.
9. You want something in your life to be constant.
And you assume that having someone rely on you means it will make them faithful to you. You’re still hoping that one day he will reciprocate everything you did for him.
10. You’ve glamorized the notion of making someone change for you.
“We could be together if” is a dangerous path to walk down. You always think the solution is right around the corner but it never is.
11. You’ve been out of a serious relationship for long enough that it’s time.
And the first good candidate you come across is someone who needs fixing. When you’re starting a new relationship, you get hung up on things you “should” be doing. In this case you decide you “should” not shy from something that might have its challenges.
12. You care too much about other peoples’ lives.
Not just in your romantic relationships. You hate to see your friends make the wrong choice, even if you know it’s a mistake they have to make. You give counsel and have a hard time letting go because you can’t help wanting to steer them in the right direction.
13. You keep trying to figure out what you actually like about him.
Being able to recite a list of your partner’s best attributes isn’t a relationship requirement, but it shouldn’t be hard to do. If you only feel good when he does, your happiness is contingent on something beyond your control.
14. You’d rather be vulnerable than not care for someone at all.
You will always care too deeply, even if it makes you a glutton for punishment. You’d rather try than shy away from love completely.
Sometimes it just feels good to have a good cry. You put on your favorite emotional tunes, pour a glass of wine, and let the feelings flow all night. If you’re in the mood to cry tonight check out the Spotify playlist wine tears or peruse the videos below.